Showing posts with label after death rituals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label after death rituals. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

THIRTEEN DAYS

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This is the back cover of the book published in memory of Kuna ba( a close relative and a great friend) whom we lost two weeks back to a deadly colon cancer- with a doctorate in child psychology -she was working as a professor and head of the dept of home science in a reputed girls college in Mirza.... her death report was covered by almost all the newspapers here.this painting is done by her seven year old daughter Antara titled SURJYA UTHA DESHOLOY..meaning" to the place where the Sun rises"....it is a goodbye gift from her to her mother .On the day of her Shraddha this book was distributed amongst all the friends,relatives and the family members.This book contains a lot of messages from family,friend and relatives.....many things written about her life, pictures of her childhood ,school days,college,marriage and many other aspects of her life.The idea of a book of this kind was initiated by both the families and the way both sides put their effort in was very touching and inspiring......even at a hard time like this they did something very positive.

In Assam it is mandatory to observe certain rituals in memory of the deceased ...starting from the day of death till the shraddha bhoj which takes place on the 13th day(many variations are seen )....but this pattern is followed by the most. I visited both the families(in-laws and her maternal home) many times ......during these thirteen days i saw all the rituals very minutely.I felt that these rituals are not only done in memory of the deceased but in a major way these are structured and designed to heal the family left behind mentally after such a great loss.....if not that at least it places the family on a healing path.Fasting and eating a plain meal,leaving some everyday comforts ,everyday evening prayers where all the family members and interested friends and families join.............people visiting the whole day to offer their moral support to the family.....a lot of talking and discussions.....it rebuilds our faith in family,relations,society and God even more.
At first i wrote a detailed version of these 13 days but later deleted because i was not sure if it is a right thing to do or not.... i want to share this beautiful lines written by Kuna's 15 years old nephew Chinmoy(i was surprised because it is the same kid whom i used to bribe with balloons before extracting his milk teeth).....

ON HER DEMISE

We were strong but now broken
only tears are left to show as token
pray darkness fails and light dawns
into a day of endless hope and delight
where pain is only a mere thought
and we are away from God's wrath;

Her smile ecstatic and joyous
shatters the pain that so monotonous
her humble looks delights ones sight
have hope and fight;
you are strong,
fight and prove all wrong

All that is good went in vain
she lost her fight with pain her movement cease to sway!
O DEATH!why thy take her away!
sleep now behind this curtain of fate!
now that we be joining you none too late!