To The brothers with love...'Bhai Phota'

"Bhaier kapale dilam phonta,
Jamer Duare porlo kanta,
Jamuna Dae Jomke phonta,
Ami di amar bhaike phonta,
Bhai jeno hoy mota shota."

An east Indian rhyme, translated this would mean

"As I put the tilak on my brother's forehead
I wish him all the success and good health in life"

Living in a land that is distant not only in terms of miles but also in terms of traditions, from that of my forefathers, I try in my own way to preserve whatever little I can of the festivals and rituals I had grown up with. Today through this page, I share such a ritual with you all.
A bond that is much celebrated all over India is that of a brother and a sister. The fierce bond that survives childhood competition, rivalry, tattling and gently flows through the precocious teens of separate rooms and wardrobes, of secrets kept from each other, to finally mature into an oasis of security. We all have gone through these stages, we have fought and cried, we have hugged and laughed, we have cursed and sworn, we have mimicked and pulled each other's legs. We have also, each year, two days after Diwali, celebrated with love and joy, 'Bhai Phota'
In Bengal this event is called 'Bhai Phota'. Two days after Kali puja or Diwali, on dvitiya (second day), 'Bhai Phota' is celebrated. On this day, sisters keep a fast and invite their brothers to be felicitated. This event is ceremoniously performed by the loving sister who religiously fasts the whole morning until she applies a 'Phota' (tilak) of 'chandan' (sandal wood) paste, 'kaajol'(kohl) and 'doi' (yogurt) on her brother's forehead, wishing him a long life and offering him sweets and gifts. The sisters make their brothers sit on an Asana (a small cotton mattress) and draws the 'Phota' on the forehead of the brother. If the sister is elder then she blesses her brother with rice grains and 'Durba' (blades of grass) when the brother touches her feet. The brother also eagerly waits for his sister to apply the 'Phota' and in turn lavishes her with love and gifts. After this the brothers are served sweets and then the whole family engages into singing songs, playing games and anything that is enjoyed by all. On this day relatives are invited to the house for lunch or dinner and thus a huge gathering of young children, teenagers and adults make the ambience more festive and cheerful. The sisters, dressed in their best, make the arrangement for the 'Phota'.Well this is how it happens traditionally, but in reality, as kids the brothers and sisters are coerced into this tradition by the parents. With grumpy faces they oblige to sit on the asana and take the phota, the sister at times, emphasises that if her brother doesn't mend his ways, this is the last year she will be taking part in this festival, after the obligatory smiles to the camera, the fights that were left midway are taken up and life continues. The years follow and the parents across all the towns of India instill the values of love and bonding among their kids through this tradition, and slowly yet surely the little minds change. the sister grows up and her prayers turn genuine, the brother most of the times, leaves the home to study at a distant shore, and on this particular day the feeling of nostalgia, of bygone bhai photas, of the gifts shared and the warmth of togetherness is missed whole heartedly. Maybe it is this that strengthens the bonds, maybe it is the Phota(tilak). who is to say? All we know is, that the tradition of the phota instils faith in us that our brothers will remain hail and hearty wherever they are.Pictures are of my two kids taken in two different years, at different houses... today also we will celebrate this ritual of a love that stands the test of all times.

Matheran - the forest on the top

This time Mahatma Gandhi's birthday on October 2, ( a national holiday in India) fell on a Friday.

Tired of the concrete jungle that Mumbai is, we decided to take off with the kids to a short 2 day holiday to Matheran to rejuvenate ourselves.

At 800 metres above the sea level and only 108 kms from Mumbai, Matheran is the smallest hill station in India. It's proximity to Mumbai makes it a very popular weekend retreat.

Mumbai to Matheran takes about two and a half hours by road. Alternatively, one can also take a train from Mumbai to Neral, ( a tiny town at the foothills of Matheran) and then take a taxi up. But after 8 kms or so of a winding, narrow road, you have to park the car and go the rest of the way up on foot.There are horses and rickshaws available for those who do not want to trek. We walked to our hotel but arranged for a rickshaw for my mother in law. There is also a toy train that chugs and meanders to the top but the tracks were closed for repairs.

Matheran in local dialect means 'the forest on top.' This small hill station, almost fell prey to unscrupulous builders who wanted to convert this region and build amusement parks, discotheques and concrete roads. The pristine forests would have disappeared forever had the Ministry of Environment and Forest not stepped in. It declared Matheran to be an eco-sensitive region and it is one of the few places in the world where vehicles are not allowed.

There are 38 designated look out points in Matheran that provide excellent views of the surrounding hills and valleys. There are no metalled roads and the walking paths are made of red laterite earth. The day we reached Matheran, it rained heavily. The forest was misty. The heavy fog did not permit us to see the spectacular view of the valley below from any of the points. But the unpolluted and crisp air, the red winding paths through the thick forest, the old styled Parsi bunglows, made the place pretty as a picture.

This region has a large variety of medicinal plants and herbs. People have occasionally sighted panthers in the hills. Deer, rabbits, squirrels, monkeys and wild cats are often seen. This place is also home to a large number of birds and beautiful butterflies.

The original inhabitants of Matheran, the Dhangars, the Thakurs and the Katkaris still retain some of their old practices. The Dhangars supply milk to the visitors. The Thakurs are mainly farmers. They also gather honey and fruits from the jungle. The Katkaris are mainly hunters. Now- a- days, a lot of these people have opened up shops in the market areas and sell shoes, leather goods, home made chocolates, fudge, variety of fruit flavoured drinks and chikki (peanut brittle).

 The locals are extremely friendly and love to talk to the scores of tourists that throng Matheran every day.

My city bred kids had a lovely time exploring the forests and spotting the snakes and rare butterflies.

My children christened this tree as the 'Mushroom tree'.

However much we progress in technology and science, there still is no teacher better than Mother Nature.


Photographs courtesy Sourendu Gupta.

Dashami - saying goodbye to ma durga with a promise to meet again the net year

Dashami is the final day of this festival,after many rituals Ma Durga( Idol ) is prepared for her departure...with the sound of beating drums,chants and the devotees aiming flowers and rice grains at Ma's idol it is a very emotional moment.....you will see many moist eyes when the idol is finally lifted with a roaring sound of DURGA MAI KI JAI(meaning Victory To Thee Ma Durga).Here is the picture from our naam ghar at Laban.

Here comes out Ma for her departure from the Earth only to return back the next year.At this moment here in Assam specific Naam(prayers/songs) are sung by women devotees......the procession leads towards the Bhasoni a place mostly a river where the idol is finally immersed for Bisorjan .All this takes place between very tight security .Many devotees accompany the vehicle carrying the Idol in their own cars or by foot but i always stop at this point and with tearful eyes see her go by.

Ladies singing Durga-naam.